The Saltwater Room
by louigan
Summary: Oneshot. Implied F/F. The lyrics are from Owl City. Takes place after the Season 2 finale.


You looked down at your desk, sighing. You didn't know why, but for some reason you had felt extremely guilty lately. That, and lonely. And it didn't help that everyone at ISIS was convinced you were incredibly stupid. There was no turning back, the things you'd done (the more stupid things, anyway) in the office the past few years were haunting you, and always would be. There was no way around it, was there? The kidnapping happened months, maybe even a year, ago. But it still came back to you no matter how hard you tried.

That's it. What better way to change your life than by running from your past? Yeah, that sounds about right. Leaving ISIS wouldn't be so bad. In fact, there were lots of advantages. Who needs this festering shit hole, anyway?

_**When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?**_

_**If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?**_

"Hey, Carol."

Oh, perfect, it's that bitch again. Why did she even bother you so much? You don't even remember what started this frenemy-like relationship with the fat blonde. All you knew was that since the dawn of time, you two did _**not**_ get along.

"_Cheryl,_" you corrected your oafish coworker.

"Whatever! You doin' okay?" Pam looked at you, a glint in her eye. Shit, she knew something was up.

"I'm just fine, thank you. Just, go away and…" You looked at her office. "…have sex with your stupid dolphin puppet. Why do you even have that thing?"

"Well, I'll have you know I use it for 'lifting up low morale levels in the work environment'. Do you have something you'd like to say to my dolphin friend?" The blonde smiled, and from behind her back appeared the very same puppet that you had been badmouthing.

"Yeah, I have one thing," you retort before lifting your right hand, middle finger extended.

"Oh, _very_ nice. What's your problem?" Pam said, hands on her hips. She leaned forward. "Are you in Japan?"

"What?"

"Think of the Japanese flag, then get perverted with the same thought."

"…Oh, God, Pam! _No, I am not in Japan!_ And even if I was, why do you want to know about my bodily functions anyway? Sicko," you hiss.

"I'm sure this guy on the internet would. Holy shit, he's some guy I found online that wants to be a pad. I'm not joking, his profile said that. Hang on," Pam said as she pulled out her phone. She started to read aloud. "'I am a guy that is becoming a pink disposable feminine pad, and later on I will be pressed against a soft vulva for a woman's period. I'm looking for more open-minded friends who are comfortable about this fate for me. I have wanted to become a pad since I was ten years old.' **Fuck**, it's funnier if you read it a second time!" At this point, your coworker was cracking up.

"Did somebody say vulva?" Your other coworker, a field agent (and an asshole), looked out of his mother's office doorway. He looked at your desk, which was right beside it.

"Get back to work, jackass," Pam looked at Archer, annoyed that her hilarious tale was now ruined. "Will do, fatty." And with that he went back into the office.

"Anyway, why are you being such a little bitch?" Pam stared at you. Surprisingly, she looked worried. Pam? Worried about you? Yeah right. You hated to admit it, but deep down you felt a smidge of guilt for letting Pam get kidnapped under your name. But why? She's such a cow.

Oh shut up, you knew why. You knew exactly why. Sure, the woman wasn't the sexiest on the planet nor the most good looking, and- wait, what the fuck? Shut up. Shut the fuck up. That isn't even morally right to think of Pam that way. Probably.

"Uh, well, I've been thinking, and…"

You trail off, looking at your lap. Pam crossed her arms. "And?"

"I'msorry," you said quickly, mumbling. "Excuse me? I didn't hear you."

"I'm sorry, okay?" You look up at her with pleading eyes. She looked back down at you, an eyebrow raised. "For what? Existing?" You sigh.

"I'm sorry I just let you get kidnapped that one morning. But you know why I did it, right? They wouldn't have thought twice about killing-"

"You're still upset about that? Man, it's fine. I could handle those dickweeds. And I did! You're aware of how tough I am, right?" Pam smirked, putting one hand on her hip. It was almost like she was taunting you. Did she know? No, she couldn't have known.

"Yeah, I guess," you say shakily, looking away.

Pam reached over and grabbed you by the chin, leaning forward. She was about 6 or 7 inches away but you wished it was less. Why did this feel so right? Shit, no it doesn- okay, it does, you just find it hard to believe.

"Get over it, Cheryl. As if _**you**_ of all people would actually care about me," the blonde said quietly, letting go of your chin.

"I'm not sure you understand how I feel, Pam," you squeak out softly.

_**Time together is just never quite enough**_

Pam started to blush, standing back up. Oh, shit, no. No no no no.

_**When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?**_

"I may or may not care about you," you say, avoiding eye contact. The blonde smiled. An actual, genuine smile, that is. This has to be a joke.

_**What will it take to make or break this hint of love?**_

"I may or may not care about you too, moneybags," Pam said as she walked back to her office.

_**So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?**_

"_**All the time**_," you whispered.


End file.
